When faced with the question of where to go for our (delayed) honeymoon, we batted around several ideas before landing on one country that ticked all our boxes. We wanted:
- Luxuriant beaches
- Hikeable mountains
- Vibrant cities
- Charming countryside
- Thrill of adventure
- Reasonably affordable
- Spanish speaking (as that’s one of our couple hobbies)
Tick, tick, tick, tick, tick: Colombia
(Side note: highly recommend a delayed honeymoon as it prolongs the newlywed fun, takes the planning burden off of the pre-wedding stress storm, and gives your bank account a much-needed chance to recover).
How’d that get in there?!
Once we decided on our destination, we started to plan the trip in our usual elaborate style, but quickly found we couldn’t commit the time to do it well. Definitely wanting to avoid a pre-packaged holiday or tour bus situation, we were intrigued when we found kimkim to help us build a bespoke travel experience. By pairing us with a local Colombian agency and connecting us through their online platform, kimkim enabled us to book OUR honeymoon at cost somewhere between UK and Colombian prices. They collected a dozen bits of information off of us – what we wanted to do, what type of activities we prefer, what type of activities we hate, how much we were will to spend per day, etc. and within a week we had a fully customized itinerary. Through their online platform, we were able to chat and call with our Colombian agent to ensure everything was as we liked before handing over our card details. The best part of this was that, without being shadowed by a dedicated tour guide for two weeks, we were able to seamlessly travel extensively across Colombia semi-independently with cars lined up for airport transfers and guides for remote mountain hikes, but no chaperone on “explore the city days” or to hold our hands getting on an airplane. We could cover so much more ground because we weren’t spending precious time figuring out what taxi company we could trust to take us to our hotel or debating which birdwatching guide seemed most trustworthy.
So, with very little planning on our part (except for an accelerated course of rabies pre-exposure vaccine) we were off!
Caribbean Coast
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Santa Marta
After transferring overnight through Bogota, we began our honeymoon in the northwest of the country in a small city called Santa Marta which is commonly used as basecamp for lost city trekkers and the less-wild Parque Nacional Natural Tayrona explorers, like us. We arrived to a hot, sunny day and immediately went to the harbour for ceviche from Emmanuel’s. For dessert, we grabbed some freshly sliced mango with lemon juice to munch on while strolling through the market stalls along the water. Though there’s not a lot to see by foot in Santa Marta, but we did manage to visit the Catedral de Santa Marta and the funky, colorful streets near the popular Parque de los Novios.
Catedral de Santa Marta in the busy heart of the city
In the evening, we took in the surroundings from the modest hotel’s rooftop bar where we were the only guests jabbering in broken Spanish to the bartender. Here, we took advantage of what would be the first of many stunning sunsets we’d see in Colombia.
Parque Tayrona
The next day we took the hour long drive north to Parque Tayrona early in the morning to beat the heat. All visitors need to register at the gate and foreign visitors pay a relative premium (plus insurance) for the day – nevertheless, this national park is WELL worth the $20 fee. Most visitors start in the north of the park, which is the most walkable and offers diverse landscapes within just a few hours.
Just a mediocre view in Parque Tayrona
Our tour took us over rocky crests, through brushy dunes, under tall monkey-filled canopies and to meet some indigenous people selling coconuts. The best part was when we were taken to a secret stretch of beach we were could privately splash in the sea to cool off before carrying on. Three or four hours into the park a is a popular cove for people to sun and eat arepas before turning back or setting up at a camp called Cabo San Juan. Here, we saw a giant iguana just running through the people to get the most choice spot on the high boulders to catch some rays.
Iguana King of Cabo San Juan
After our excellent adventure in the park, we retreated – fully – to a WiFi-free, hot water-free cabana further north, right on the ocean. Though the host at this campus of backroad cabanas was a super weirdo, the resort was set amidst lush palm trees with coastline and mountains as far as the eye could see. With just solar panels for energy, we were able to properly disconnect and just let vacation mode sink in as the sun sank into the turquoise waters.
Just another boring ole sunset on the Caribbean coast
We stayed in our beach retreat for two days, during which time ate a few kilos of mangoes brought in upon request by a man on a motorbike, walked a few miles along the beach without seeing more than a dozen people, and splashed in the Caribbean sea when we were too warm. An especially funny moment (for me, anyways) was when – due to jet lag – we woke up at 4am and sat on the beach for a couple of hours watching the sunrise. Sounds idyllic, right? Well, the rub was that the “resort” wasn’t open yet and therefore, Brian was without coffee for four whole groggy, morning hours. When it finally came time for breakfast, Brian was further unnerved to see fresh juice at every place setting, but no coffee. The host came over to us and – thank goodness – offered us coffee. Having noticed that most people in Colombia drink their coffee black (and full of sugar, but more on that later) he requested in Spanish that he be served milk with his coffee. But, the waiter was confused and returned with a steaming mug of milk. Brian almost cried.
Dumb sunsets always ruining good pictures…
Accommodation: Tayrona Tented Lodge
Minca
Wanting to make the most of the spectacularly diverse scenery in Departmento del Magdalena in northern Colombia, we went against our better judgement and went to the touristy town in the Sierra Nevada mountains, Minca. Known as the ecological capital of Colombia, this small town itself is derelict and strewn with white tech bros sporting dreads, but beauty lies all around it. It was raining when we arrived, so our insane transfer driver from Tayrona offered to take us up the mountain to the famous Cascada de Marinka (waterfall) – for a steep fee. I acknowledge that it was a nice waterfall, but really nothing more.
Minca’s most famous waterfall
We walked down the mountain, unwilling to hail one of several motorbikes for hire zipping down the steep road for fear of instant death, and we were rewarded to see some remarkable old growth trees that were about as wide as our flat! We arrived back in town about an hour later and were disappointed to find that a few of the very few cafes and bakeries were closed, so we ended up eating a sad attempt at Western food (and we would have way preferred Colombian food) on the terrace of a smoke shop. We watched many tourists stop by to stock up on hash before disappearing into the undergrowth of their beards again.
A view in the Sierra Nevada mountains of Minca
By the afternoon the sun was out and our bellies were full, so we summoned the courage to climb up towards a different peak, this time going towards a cacao farm. It was hard going, but the views were well worth it. We could even see where our journey started in Santa Marta in the distance. Towards the end the path got a bit confusing, exacerbated by our collective heat stroke, but we eventually made it to Finca La Candelaria where we were rewarded with free coffee and bananas while we waited on the stone patio for the next small group tour to begin.
The tour took us down into the vegetation to see cacao pods on the trees, as well as a myriad of other symbiotic produce such as coffee and bananas, of course! The tour was simple enough that we could understand it in Spanish, but one poor guy admitted to not speaking Spanish very well and was just patronized the whole time by the guide trying to help him by talking very loudly and slowly in his face, with wild hand gestures, despite the fact that the tour could have effectively been delivered in silence.
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- Luxurious spa treatments on down on the farm
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- A bodysnatcher pod
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- Brian sees… a chickadee
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- There’s birds in them there mountains
The second part of the tour covered the mechanics of how cacao is processed to make cocoa butter, cacao nibs and chocolate. We sampled cacao seeds right from the pod, which were fruity, cottony white slime balls – weird, but not bad, and even got cacao facials. All in all, a fun little jaunt made all the more enjoyable by the sunset on our way back down.
We awoke very early the next day for a bird watching expedition arranged by Kimkim with the same crazy man who brought us to Minca from Tayrona and enjoyed taking shortcuts through slums at top speed in a rickety old wannabe Jeep Willys. Fortunately, this former drug runner was partnered with a slightly more sane and coherent avian enthusiast who led us and another couple on a slow stroll through the mountains to spot lots of brightly colored birds which bored him and lots of things that looked like chickadees that just thrilled him. We were most excited to see a toucan high up in the trees, but we also saw many types of parrots and parakeets. The tour was only meant to be a couple of hours, but the guide became obsessed with finding one particular migratory bird that would soon be flying north for their winter. So he dragged us up and down the mountains for a good five hours without food or a break (except when we broke into a finca to steal the workers coffee #whenincolombia). Luckily, he did eventually find the bird hanging around a compost heap where we then had to wait for him to get the perfect photo of the perfect bird, ay yi yi!
Accommodation: Hotel Sweet Harmony
Cartagena
The color explosion that is Cartagena
That afternoon we were picked up from our hotel and driven about 5 hours to Cartagena. Domestic travel in Colombia is only really safely done via car or plane, rarely bus and never train (there simply isn’t a network). The ride took us along the coast, through Barranquilla and Parque Isla de Salamanca. We stopped at both Wawa-quality convenience stores and roadside stools bearing bags of mangos. We arrived at our swanky hotel (thanks Kimkim) right by the clock tower in the old city at dusk and enjoyed a roof top bar quite unlike that of our first hotel before setting out for dinner. On the recommendation of the hotel staff for Colombian Caribbean food, we walked over to La Mulata for zesty seafood and sumptuous coco rice, a Cartagena speciality. We were grateful for the pre-dinner fortification because the streets of Cartagena at night were sketchy – not stabby or kidnappy sketchy, but Times Square sketchy. We found that, every night after sunset, Brian would be offered drugs every half block that we walked because, unfortunately, we do scream tourist.
Street scene: Cartagena
Street scenes of Colonial buildings
Las Islas del Rosario
The next day we took a speedboat from the harbor to Las Islas del Rosario. This was a day-trip that friends (and the internet) recommended to us, or rather to me as a beach lover. Truly, this is a beautiful destination to include in any Cartagena itinerary, BUT it is serviced in the most bizarre way. Essentially, each island is a bead in the “rosary” of islands and each island/bead is its own resort. So, the deal is that each speedboat is owned by a resort and it takes you to that one specific resort island for a few hours, during which time you are subjected to the worst resort attributes including planned activities signified by ringing bells *gasp*, incessant upselling of massages *gasp*, and exorbitantly priced cocktails *faint*. This is interspersed with a fish lunch buffet and some random artisans hawking the wares to you while you splash in the shallows. The hour long ride to the islands is an efficient way to see the more modern leg of Cartagena that wraps around the bay and is pretty fun, in a log-flume ride kinda way. But truth be told, you almost spend more time going to and fro than you do lounging on the white sand on the practically private beaches. So, it’s a bit of a toss up whether I’d carry on this recommendation. Brian hated it thoroughly.
Life on the islands
Gente de Mar resort
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That night, relying on another recommendation, we had a marvelous dinner just down the street from our hotel at Maria. As my wise friend April shared when recommending this place, it’s like going to a hip, haute 5-star restaurant in NYC, but paying a quarter of the price – including drinks! Creative cocktails featuring local fruits we couldn’t pronounce, multiple types of ceviche, and expertly cooked fish – what more could you want? We do carry on this recommendation.
Getsemani
On our second full day in Cartagena we were left to our own devices, so we started the morning by walking out of the old walled city and crossing into the next neighborhood, Getsemani. Vibrantly decorated and nearly tourist free, Getsemani is a far cry from Ciudad Antigua (the old city), but is in fact steeped with its own historical markers and is en route to the castle. We spent an hour or so wandering the quiet streets and drinking little coffees in the church square under the blazing sun. There’s a lot of Cartagena we didn’t get to see, but I’m glad we got to see this one authentic corner of it (before the hipsters fully Brooklynize it).
We kept walking from here over an ancient stone wall and bridge to reach Castillo de San Felipe de Barajas. Though it is possible to walk from the old city to this site, the last bit of the journey was a tad sketchy and we did see a car catch on fire on our way back so…yeah, spring for an Uber. Anyways, the fort (16th century colonial outpost) was built atop a hill with a great view all around. Today, you can still walk along the parapet and take silly photos with the cannons. It is well preserved and you can see more than enough in an hour. Note, we didn’t find any bathrooms here so that was awkward.
Colonial era fort with cannons and all
Ciudad Antigua
After a quick dip in our hotel’s rooftop pool (oh and before I forget, the breakfast buffet was also outstanding), we were refreshed enough to head out into the busy, beautiful and boiling throughways of Ciudad Antigua – the walled city beside the sea. Part of the neighborhood was without power, but ceviche is a dish best served cold so we dined al fresco on raw salmon and avocado tostados and a mountain of guacamole that cost just pennies. Avocados and mangoes are so abundant in Colombia that they practically give them away, which we made an effort to take advantage of. Fueled up, I managed to drag Brian through a couple hours of shopping as long as I interspersed it with cocktail stops. The shopping was excellent, everything from handicrafts to chic boutiques, to stylish name brands.
The old streets in Cartagena
We made an effort to get a spot on the ocean side of the wall to watch the sun set over the modern high rises in the distance. We were approached many times over the course of an hour by beer sellers, tour guides and folks looking for some spare change. Memorably, we spent a good twenty minutes talking to two little Venezuelan boys who were trying to get some money by selling boxes of cookies to tourists. Throughout our time in Colombia, we saw dozens of Venezuelan migrants trying to restart their lives here, even selling their own Venezuelan currency on the roadside for fractions of a cent per bolívar.
Iglesia de San Pedro Claver
After talking to the boys from Caracas and a tour guide that was so pleased that Brian had a conversation with him just for the sake of it, rather than shooing him away like most tourists would (me included), we went for our final fabulous meal in Cartagena. We ate at Candé, a well known spot for traditional Cartagena Caribbean food, decor and dancing. I enjoyed a local crab and rice dish while Brian adventurously selected the baby shark stew. Every 15 minutes of so, a male and female dancer would appeared and danced in the middle of this busy restaurant, an interpretive dance that acted out a creole love story complete with betrayal and deceit — each time in different, more elaborate costumes. At one point, one of them was the grim reaper and tried to kill Brian while I egged them on. Not long after, I stepped away to use the ladies and came back to the woman trying to kiss Brian. It was weird, but the food was excellent, as was always the case in Cartagena.
Drinks over a well!
Accommodation: Hotel Santa Catalina
Right, so that was the first half of our amazing honeymoon and I’m going to stop now before I make myself hungrier. Part II coming soon!
Shot of newer city in Cartagena on the way to the islands
-Sophie
idaknowwheretogo (I don't know where to go!) 